About a year ago, my house got broken into. Computers were stolen – computers that I needed for my business. Games and gaming systems were stolen, and a gun that my fiance kept was stolen. While sorting through the reality of the situation, we decided that the best thing for us to do would be to move. We moved in with my fiance’s mom. We stayed there until the end of February, when we moved into an apartment.
I have read many of the posts that I wrote during the past year, and I am astounded by my lack of mental clarity during this time. I guess that is to be expected, considering the transitions that we went through during that time. The feeling that you have to leave a place that was your home because it is no longer safe is a very emotional experience. I’m not sure that I had ever really gotten in touch with my emotions about it during that time.
Since we have moved, I can tell that my mental clarity is much better. And looking back on all of the mental craziness that I have been through, I have to give myself the respect that I deserve for sticking by what I believe in when it comes to educating the children in my care. I didn’t give in to compromise. I questioned that choice over and over again, but today – as I look back on everything that has happened and think about where things are now – I am so glad that I did choose not to compromise. That choice has carried me to where I am now.
I can feel that my mind is clearer. Lately, I have begun to apply aspects of Conscious Discipline in my classroom again – without even trying! It is like it is coming back to me, second nature, because I feel safe again and in the right frame of mind to begin building relationships with the children in my care with the respect that I demand that everyone around me use when working with me. And I haven’t really begun to demand that others use that respect as much as they should in my classroom, but I think that I am going to start. My classroom has truly been a different place in the past couple of weeks, as I find my footing and deal with the children differently. And there is even more to it! I have found myself beginning to plan differently than I have in an entire year, and that planning has led to a classroom that is more involved, busier, and learning more than it has in an entire year. And all because I didn’t compromise. I am still not compromising, because even the classroom that I am in now is not the ideal situation. But I have turned it into an almost perfect situation simply by my mindset, and I am taking it day by day.
I have also gone back to school. I have found that my degree is almost a necessity at this time, and I am working hard to get it. At this time it should take me about a year to get it, and between that and the planning and research that I am doing for my classroom, I will be quite busy for the foreseeable future. I am hoping that, with my new clarity of mind, I will be able to post more often as I learn even more about myself and the career that I love.